Everything Is The Same Subject (E​.​P​.​)

by Ian Evans

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Four songs by Ian Evans. Hard copies are also available on CD, if you e-mail via my website. Download comes with the complete pdf artwork and a booklet of lyrics and references.

Best wishes, Ian x

credits

released February 11, 2014

* Ian Evans: Singing, electric guitars, 12-string acoustic guitar, bass, fretless bass, synthesiser, harmonica, drum pads

* Christopher Blake: Production, mixing and mastering

Many thanks to Chris Blake and Karen Haines for recording advice and Mark Braby, Shaun Hendrie and Tim Pascoe for the loan of microphones

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Ian Evans UK

Pop/experimental/rock musician and songwriter from London

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Track Name: Fooling Nobody
Lyrics

Pampas grass swingers
Sweet Satan awful/lovely nice wine cup
My darling, let us toast Professor Henry Morley
Nina Francis meet sweet Widow Wadman, at the Foundry on Old Street
“In Munich they just have the best potato salad”

You dance for yourself and no one else
I’m fooling no one else but me
This date is just fun for you, but stressful for me…
I try to keep witty and full of conversation (just like she)
Which part of the truth would she find the most attractive?

Six months in The Fall on community service (playing bass)
I’d drink more than prescribed in Deighton’s action cookbook
Joe Haines and Gaunty (with void as purpose) probably think that we…
Would give free homes to gay asylum seekers

You dance for yourself and no one else
I’m fooling no one else but me
This date is just fun for you, but stressful for me…
I try to keep witty and full of conversation (just like she)
It's relaxing when you lack desire and have market value

You dance for yourself and no one else
And that’s both good and bad

References

* “Pampas grass swingers” – Pampas grass was popular in 1970’s gardens (and jokingly referred to as a sign that swingers lived there). As a boy, I often used to cut my hands on the sharp leaves
* Supersizers – Presented by Giles Corren and Sue Perkins on the BBC, this shows the type of food eaten in different eras. I’m a big fan and was watching the 1970’s episode as I wrote the lyrics
* Wine Cup – A 1970’s cocktail made with white wine and fruit juices (usually orange and pineapple)
* Prof. Henry Morley – A famously kind professor from University College London (where I work!) He championed women’s rights and ttaught English literature from 1865 - 1889
* Nina Frances - A pretty actress from the 1970’s... She briefly appeared in Are You Being Served, but doesn’t seem to have done much else
* Widow Wadman – A character from the Life and Times of Tristram Shandy by Lawrence Sterne. Supposedly, she’s so attractive that she can’t be described by words
* The Foundry – An artistic bar at Old Street in London. It had its own art gallery, graffiti and nicknacks. It was owned by Bill Drummond, formerly of the K.L.F.
* “Community service in the Fall” – Mark E. Smith (lead singer of the Fall) is notorious for sacking his band members and giving them a hard time on tour. Community service is a minor, work-based, punishment for criminals and helping out the Fall would definitely benefit the community because they’re great! (Mark E Smith’s official biography is worth a read. He’s not a nice man I guess, but he moans in a clever way)
* Len Deighton’s Action Cookbook! - A cookery book, mentioned in the Supersizers 1970’s programme. It recommends ridiculous levels of hard spirits, when planning dinner parties!
* Joe Haines – A journalist, who wrote a disgustingly homophobic article about Freddy Mercury, shortly after his death
* “Gaunty” – The nickname of John Gaunt; another British journalist whose views I nearly always dislike
* “Void as purpose” – The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche suggested that people, “would rather have a void for their purpose than be void of purpose.” This is similar to Sartre’s idea of bad faith (basing your life on a set opinion and imagining enemies, because you can’t accept the universe might not have meaning)
* “Free homes for gay asylum seekers!” – This was a joke article in the brilliant Viz comic (designed to wind up right wing journalists such as Richard Littlejohn or John Gaunt)
* “This date is fun for you but stressful for me…” – This is based on a thought I once had, when I was 18 and liked a girl at work. Talking to her made me nervous (as I wanted to impress her) but she was always relaxed and happy. She was a kind person but just didn't fancy me, so the situation was stress free for her :-)
* “What part of the truth would she find the most attractive?” – In general, I believe that different company brings out different sides of peoples’ personalities. That doesn’t mean that they’re being dishonest
* Market value - If you're a biologist, there are all sorts of interesting things to think about relative, "market values" in the sexual attraction between men and women (based on their different investment into gametes and reproductive potential). It explains a lot of the foundations that social relationships are built on (although not the end results of course).
Track Name: Lord Frith
Lyrics

Sack Trick remind me of Tate Modern with Nick (and the laugh of Sarah Cawood)
“Mummer,” reminds me of the Lytchett Science trip (and Steve Jones’ gene language lecture)
Bennett remind me of walks to the Joiner’s Arms (You couldn’t get every CD in my native town)
The Trail of Dead make me feel sad

Sky Magazine reminds me of Wish by the Cure (and school coffees)
It seemed racy (and then Blur briefly made me popular)
Hengisbury Head
Cheval de Freese remind me of the Arts Café
The Spitz and Pavement
Dad’s Dorchester Fete and Icen Way

“Murder Park” recalls Denise and Super Buys (and my third year hedgehog study)
Mab make me think of the Cargo Club with Edd (and little jam jars of saki)
Focus remind me of Dad’s spotted LP (and Salad of Xmas TV)
Emma Pollock makes me think of Claire and me (where we both cried at each other)

H.M.H.B. remind me of Wimbourne (stressed at Biogenesis)
Induction fees remind me of Hernandez Bros cartoons
Thomas Dolby reminds me of Airwaves and the forced quelling of romance
The Divine Comedy of woodlice and Kew promenade with friends

T.M.B.G.’s “No!” album reminds me of Launch Pad and of family gigging
Louise Brown’s knees of singing the Monsoon Bassoon on my bike

Wax and Hourglass remind me of the coach trip in ’87
Headmaster toys, Scelidosaurus/Mum in Huddesfield
Now Scarlet’s Walk reminds me of the final kiss with Ariana
Magic Malik reminds me of Foyle’s Jazz Bar with Karen

Cabin Fever reminds me of a nice letter from their bassist
Rolo Tomassi remind me of sadness at the Old Blue Last
Vivian Stanshall reminds me of lying awake in Stoke Newington
Oxes make me think of my first awkward week in London

References

* Lord Frith – The God of rabbits, in the novel Watership Down. (I’m also referring to Fred Frith, the avant garde composer. Oddly, my first ever gig was on Frith Street in London, so this song is really about life and art being intertwined)
* Sack Trick – A 90’s comedy band, featuring members of Rachel Stamp and other 90’s indie folk
* The Tate Modern – An art gallery in London, which I went to with my friend Nick on the day I bought the above album. At the time, I'd just decided to move to London and was obsessed with the thought
* Sarah Cawood – A bubbly, 90’s TV presenter, who did a guest vocal on the above album
* Mummer – Probably the worst album by XTC, one of my favourite ever bands. It, none the less, contains 5 or 6 brilliant tunes and was purchased on a school science trip to London… I was so excited about being able to find it in a shop. (This prefigures the internet, so rare albums could only be bought on city trips)
* Lytchett – The school where I did my GCSE and A level exams, in Dorset, England
* Steve Jones – In this case, I’m not referring to the Sex Pistols guitarist but the Biology Professor Steve Jones.
I saw him talk on the above A level science trip but (at the time of writing this tune) he was my boss!
* Bennett – A great 90’s band, who deserved fame, but didn’t get it. Their best song was called, “Wanker,” and has one of the strongest lyrics I’ve ever heard. It’s a brilliant dissection of a laddish man
* The Joiner’s Arms – A pub in Southampton (where I went to university). Almost every band plays there, before becoming famous
* …And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead – A band who I strongly associate with a 2006-2009 hopeless love affair
* Sky Magazine – An early 90’s fashion and music magazine. A boy at school got my friends and I interested in it as (pre-Loaded, FHM, Nuts and Zoo etc.) it was the only easily available magazine that showed semi-naked women. In retrospect, it was laughably tame, showing perhaps two nipples an issue, however, the music reviews seemed exciting at the time and women are always beautiful
* Wish – An album by the Cure, which I liked a lot during my A level exams
* Blur – A great 90’s band who admired XTC and Squeeze. (Hence, some of my tastes in music briefly became fashionable)
* Hengisbury Head – A nature reserve in Dorset, which I visited on a school trip at the time of discovering Blur
* Cheval de Freese – A brilliant French band. One of the best live gigs (and best drummers) that I’ve ever seen
* The Arts Café – A lovely venue in London’s Aldgate East, which has now sadly closed
* The Spitz – As above! Thanks London property developers, for turning everything good into expensive flats
* Pavement – A cool 90’s band
* Dorchester Fete – My Dad works for Dorset County Council (and organized a fete at the time I was first into Pavement)
* Dorchester – County town of Dorset and home of Thomas Hardy
* Icen Way - A street in Dorchester, which features a charming dinosaur museum
* After Murder Park – An amazing album by the Auteurs
* Super Buys – A chain of shops in Dorset. I worked in the Poole store during a university holiday and was lucky/unlucky enough to work with…
* Denise – On our first date I suggested going to a pub, but she said that we should go to some empty fields instead. It was pouring with rain and we lay in the wet kissing… I had no idea what I was doing and then went home covered in mud. We became friends
* Hedgehog studies – I did a project on hedgehog ecology for a year, at university
* Mab – An Italian band who I used to watch with my friend Lorna, after first moving to London
* The Cargo Club – A pine coloured music venue in London
* Focus – A Dutch rock band, which my Dad was wise to recommend to me. (I’ll always remember the brilliant optical illusion on one of their album covers. It looked like a pattern of spots, but spelt the word Focus when viewed from a distance)
* Salad – A lovely 90’s band (whose debut album was in my play list, whilst wrapping my 2007 Christmas presents)
* Emma Pollock- During my 2006-2009 unrequited love, a friend and I went to see this singer. We were both feeling sensitive at the time and had a petty argument about whether men were romantic enough, in which we both cried. It’s one of the few arguments I’ve had, thank goodness
* Half Man Half Biscuit – An incredible band
* Wimbourne – A very pretty village in Dorset - Home to Robert Fripp and visited often by me as a kid
* Biogenesis – A biotechnology company, where I took my first job after uni. There were some nice people there and two of the bosses were really sweet guys, but I disliked the over-work and wearing a suit in retrospect (as well as being back in a tiny town and away from the challenge and stimulation of university.) It seemed as if the world of work and profit was a huge step down from academia/public service
* The Hernandez Brothers – A pair of artists, who produced the lovely, “Locas Tambien,” and, “Love and Rockets,” serials. I discovered them during my induction week at university
* Thomas Dolby – I’m a big fan of this musician, particularly his live “Sole Inhabitant” DVD
* Airwaves – My favourite Thomas Dolby song. It’s heartbreaking and like the best ever David Bowie tune
* The Divine Comedy – A favourite band of mine - particularly their first two albums
* Woodlice – In my second year at uni, a lot of woodlice would enter my room, via the patio doors. They stayed on the window ledge and caused no trouble. They're cute little things
* Kew Gardens – I love it there. It’s so elegant and I discovered the Divine Comedy on my first visit there, with a uni field trip
* Promenade – My favourite Divine Comedy album. It’s the musical equivalent of punting on the Cam and opening a bottle of Pims, with a girl in a big white dress
* They Might be Giants – I love the intelligence and friendliness of this band… They wrote an album of children’s’ music called “No!” which I really admire them for
* Launch Pad – The Science Museum in London contains this great room of hands-on experiments, for children
* Louise – A girl at work, who I had a crush on but always knew that I wouldn’t actually get on with. It was an entirely academic crush (as she had a boyfriend and used to be quite sensible and annoyed by my silly sense of humour and lack of office ambition). She often used to complain about her legs being plump to another girl in the office, as girls sometimes do. As common in these situations, if only she’d known what people were actually thinking. Any average girl would be in the top 0.0001 (or whatever) most beautiful things to have ever existed. A 1cm difference is leg size is pretty small beer, when you consider that women are the most pretty things in the whole of reality.
* The Monsoon Bassoon – Maybe my fave band
* 1987 – My tune, “Ghost Watch,” was originally called 1987, as it listed the events in my life during that year.
(For some reason, lots of important things happened to me in 1987 – toys that I liked, meeting my South African great uncle, music, books, revelatory days out etc.)
* “Headmasters” – A type of Transformers toy from 1987
* Wax – A pop band, whose brilliant song, “Bridge to Your Heart,” was in my head a lot in 87
* Hourglass – The single by Squeeze which first caused me to notice and love them
* Scelidosaurus – During my 1987 day trip to London, a toy of this dinosaur was given away free at the Natural History Museum shop
* Huddesfield – My Mum and Sister visited friends in this town in 87. (On our way home from London, my Dad and I met them at Victoria coach station)
* Ariana – My first long-term girlfriend and a big influence on me. She’s absolutely brilliant and I’ll never stop loving her a lot. She was American and I met her during a 6 month visit to London, which put a sad deadline on our time together
* Scarlet’s Walk – My favourite Tori Amos album. Ariana and I loved it at the time she moved back to America
* Magic Malik – A jazz band leader, who does some cool polyrhythmic stuff
* Foyle’s Jazz Bar – Actually called, “Ray’s Jazz,” this is a café in the lovely Foyle’s book shop
* Cabin Fever – An album by the Scaramanga Six, which I bought just before Christmas 2007
* The Old Blue Last – A music venue in Old Street, London, which often hosts free gigs
* Rolo Tomassi – A charming experimental band. I went to see them at the Old Blue Last alone in 2007, rather than sadly hang out with the girl who had broken my heart
* Vivian Stanshall – A brilliant English comedian/musician
* Stoke Newington – An area of north London, where I once lived with my friend Karen
* Oxes – An instrumental band, who I discovered on my first week in London. They influenced me, as they were math-rock, but almost within the reach of my own guitar skills
Track Name: The Cast Courts
Lyrics

Mission, to go to V and A Museum and see the giant 3 stringed bass of Dragonetti
Sidetracked by Shaftesbury Avenue memory loss and by the Natural History Museum, which is my favourite place
I saw the Tucsan ring meteorite. My heterotopian Albertopolis
Got to the main arch, which tests adventurers with its inscription, “The excellence of every art must consist in the accomplishment of its every purpose”

I was ensnared by the bag search, yeah…
And by Dale Chihuly’s jellyfish chandelier - Guardian of the rotunda
Into the corridor I fought the trap of the Ardabil Carpet (kept within glass, with light shone twice an hour)
Made for Shah Tahmasp in 1539
And then the Cast Courts, the Cast Courts yeah…
Parian marble for the Dacian Campaigns of Emperor Trajan
Cast for the forum in Rome and the tomb of Saint Sepaldus, carried by an army of snails

My next test was the giant hall of Rafael cartoons, with the Miraculous Draft of Fishes
And the Dacre beasts (fish, horse, griffin and bull) which can resist fire and they blocked my path with spears
I found the huge dome of the fashion section, here I faced temptations of the flesh…
Christian Joy’s designs for Karen O and the Pierre Balmain cocktail dress
It’s here I saw my goal up in the hidden chamber above the central display
Through the iron work corridor and down the secret walkway
I passed the sleeping guard to claim my prize

And then the Cast Courts, the Cast Courts yeah…
As I left the instrument room I saw a red herring… the imitation music room of Norfolk House
Where waited Sir Foster Cunliffe the headless archer, blocking my escape
And the black crown of Fred Wilson
My final test was a corridor of punk paper sculptures, called the Ante room of the May Queen
I fought off the grass to the metal exit doors and then into the brick tunnel to escape
And so the end of a good day

References

* “V and A” – The Victoria and Albert Museum in London
* 3 stringed bass – An antique instrument, on display at the museum (at the time I wrote this song!)
* Dragonetti – An Italian double bass virtuoso and socialite, who paid to have the above bass made
* Shaftesbury Avenue – A street in London, famous for theatres
* “Shaftesbury Avenue memory loss” – An imaginary disease mentioned in the Reeves and Mortimer comedy series. They're hysterical
* The Natural History Museum – Another fab museum, opposite the V and A
* Tucsan ring meteorite – A doughnut shaped meteorite, in the Natural History Museum’s geology section
* Heterotopian – A word coined by French philosopher Michel Foucault, to designate an out of the ordinary situation where life’s rules work differently - For example, being on honeymoon or at Disney Land
* Albertopolis – The area of the above museums (named after the Prince Consort Albert, Queen Victoria’s husband)
* Dale Chihuly – Sculptor, who built the V and A’s impressive central exhibit
* The Ardabil Carpet of Shah Tahmasp – A valuable Persian rug, protected in a sinister, dark hall. It’s lit twice an hour, to avoid being damaged by the museum lights
* The Cast Courts – Area of the V and A museum devoted to plaster casts of world monuments
* Parian marble - a type of semi-translucent marble, quarried during the classical era on the Greek island of Paros
* Dacia – An ancient culture, now part of Romania
* Emperor Trajan – A Roman Emperor, considered by some historians to be one of the most popular
* The tomb of Saint Sepaldus – A tomb in the Cast Courts, which incorporates giant snails into its design :-)
* Raphael - Italian master painter and architect in the High Renaissance
* The Miraculous Draft of Fishes – A mural by Raphael, showing a miracle observed by fishermen
* The Dacre beasts – Sculptures of four monstrous animals, opposite the above painting in the museum. They were rescued from a fire
* Christian Joy – An American clothes designer
* Karen O – Lead singer of American band the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s
* Pierre Balmain – French designer who said that, "dressmaking is the architecture of movement."
* The imitation music room of Norfolk House – Recreation of a room at the museum, from a London stately home
* Sir Foster Cunliffe the headless archer – When I went to the museum to research this song, the above music room depicted this archery loving nobleman. (He was shown without a head, as a metaphor by the artist)
* The Black Crown by Fred Wilson – Another work of art, on display at the museum during my visit
* The Ante room of the May Queen – As above. This was a corridor of torn paper doilies and the final exhibit that I saw on my way out
Track Name: Cigarette
Lyrics

Institute of Painters
The sign writing
“The Royal Academy square”
Lorenzo Quinn has Mayfair window show rooms
And we are in an arty zone of windows…
Thought inspiring

Millais annoys Charles Dickens
And saucy William Etty at the Tate Britain
Hamish Blakely
The brutal work of John Martin

Francis Derby’s dark art
We only smoked a cigarette to be beautiful
God provides for the lion but the Fox provides for herself

Churchill’s mosaic, fighting a green dragon
Turner’s day additions and competitions
He’d always sneak a bit more light in
Like Sergeant and Thomas Lawrence
Raymond Peynet…
No one can be the best in art

Duncan Grant in Bloomsbury
William Logsdail’s London
Bae Joon Sung’s hologram (ish) paintings at the Saatchi gallery…
Are all good things

Here we are at Burlington Arcade, which Paul McCartney ran down whilst chewing gum
Tea at the Ritz
The BAFTA offices

In Burlington Gardens, we’re looking out for :-
* Allen Lane’s penguin plaque
* Burlington Painting’s glass dome on the floor
* Saville Row!
* Sackville Street now… Named after herself of course

Walking up New Bond Street :-
* Atkinson’s Carillon. Only one in London. Never seems to ring
* Tiffany’s
* Sit between Holofcener’s carved statesmen
* It’s worth looking into Brown’s on Maddox Street
* Or the shop of Paul’s daughter, on the way to the square where a nightingale sang

On Brook Street you can meet :-
* Handel and Hendrix and Penhaligan’s perfume
* South Molton Street towards Oxford Street

Buy yourself a souvenir from Lush… From the home town of the guy who seems scared not to say absolutely everything in his ridiculous head
We now need to get drunk immediately

References

* The Institute of Painters – I’m using artists’ licence a bit here, as this institute on Picadilly is actually called, “The Royal Institute of Painters in Watercolour.” Its name is carved in big letters
* The Royal Academy – A very famous, privately funded arts institute on Picadilly. It was founded by George III. Its front quad often has large sculptures on show
* Lorenzo Quinn – A really cool Italian sculptor, whose work captures movement and gravity
* Mayfair show rooms – I saw some Lorenzo Quinn sculptures here, as well as one outside in Berkeley Square
* Millais and Charles Dickens – Charles Dickens hated Millais’ paintings, which he considered tasteless and unrealistic!
* William Etty at the Tate Britain – The Tate Britain is in Pimlico and a nude painting of sea nymphs there (by William Etty) caught my eye. What’s the world’s most beautiful painting? Well it would be a painting of a naked lady wouldn’t it? Obviously!
* Hamish Blakely – A lovely British painter who does a lot of 1920’s decadence, dancers etc. I also saw him on display in a Mayfair window
* “The brutal work of John Martin” – This refers to the painter of course, rather than the similarly named folk musician. He was a contemporary of Turner and drew some terrifying pictures of the apocalypse! Ray Haryhausen admired him and (crazily) he was also an engineer, who planned a Thames sewer system prior to Joseph Bazalgette’s
* Francis Derby’s dark art – I love Francis Derby. He paints with huge expanses of shadow and really pours the black paint on!
* “We only smoked a cigarette to be beautiful” – This is a misquotation of Neil Hannon from the Divine Comedy (who occasionally lit up on stage, “to feel beautiful enough for certain songs.”) Oscar Wilde also smoked on stage to great acclaim, as shown in the film, “Wilde,” with Steven Fry
* “God provides for the lion but the Fox provides for herself” – This is engraved on the floor of the Tate Britain. It’s by William Blake and presumably means that poor people have to work the hardest
* Churchill’s mosaic, fighting a green dragon – This mosaic is in the entrance to the National Portrait Gallery, in Trafalgar Square
* Turner’s day additions and competitions – J.M.W. Turner was quite competitive and would often add to his work on the day of a show (once he had seen the other works around his and checked the light in the room)
* Sergeant and Thomas Lawrence – These portrait painters have similar styles and are both wonderful. I slightly prefer Lawrence and saw a display comparing them at the Tate Britain. Lawrence was forgotten a bit at one point, which is now considered unfair
* Raymond Peynet – A French artist who I really like…. When I attended a book club (at the Cork and Bottle in Leicester Square) I first saw his paintings in their basement. I later saw them again in a Mayfair shop, where I finally learnt his name. He draws slightly twee cartoons; often featuring the same romantic couple. It’s much better than that sounds!
* “No one can be the best in art” – I believe this to be true. Art is just taste isn’t it…? You make things that you like yourself and can’t tell (and shouldn’t pander) to the thoughts anyone else
* Duncan Grant – A British painter and designer of textiles, pottery and theatre sets/costumes. He was a member of the Bloomsbury Group and involved in their bisexual affairs. Good for them! (As long as they were all happy; but I’m not sure they all were)
* William Logsdail – I haven’t been able to find out much about this artist, but some of his London paintings in the Tate Britain blew my socks off. He also painted some great Arabic scenes
* “Bae Joon Sung’s hologram (ish) paintings, at the Saatchi gallery” – This is a bit of a convoluted lyric! The Saatchi Gallery is named after the advertising executive who founded it, from his own collections. It’s on the Kings Road, which is miles away from Picadilly. It’s a lovely place though! Bae Joon Sung designs large paintings, in which parts of them give double appearances by the use of optical illusions. It’s very impressive
* Burlington Arcade – This is next to the Royal Academy and is a covered arcade of shops. Roger Fry named Britain’s first art magazine after it. It has a comical list of rules at either end, which forbid running, whistling or chewing gum
* Paul McCartney – The Beatles bass genius, who I probably don’t need to describe! The point of his name being mentioned here is that (as a joke) he once ran down Burlington Arcade whilst breaking all its rules at once
* Tea at the Ritz – A popular thing to do, if you can afford it… The Ritz is a very posh hotel on Piccadilly, in which non-guests can also pay for afternoon teas. Traditionally these comprise cucumber sandwiches, scones or and tea in pots
* BAFTA offices – The British Accademy of Film and Television Arts, on Piccadilly
* Allen Lane’s penguin plaque – This is at the start of Saville Row, to commemorate Allen Lane's founding of Penguin Books here. He seems like a cool guy - He allowed Lady Chatterley’s Lover to be published as well as James’s Joyce’s Ulysses, despite legal problems
* Burlington Painting’s glass dome – This is a lovely skylight at pavement level; looking down into the gallery. It’s directly next to Allen Lane’s plaque
* Saville Row – The centre of men’s tailoring in London
* Sackville Street - This is named after Vita Sackville-West, who was an author and gardener. She was famous for a lesbian affair with Virginia Woolf, who partly based the character of Orlando on her
* New Bond Street – A famous street of jewellery and clothes shops
* Atkinson’s Carillon – The Atkinson’ jewellery shop has a Carillon in its bell tower. This is a collection of bells, playable from a keyboard… As mentioned here, it’s the only one to exist in London although I believe it’s never used
* Tiffany’s – A famous jewellery and ornament company. I’d love one of their art deco lamps, although a replica would do fine
* Holofcener’s carved statesmen – This refers to a beautiful statue of Winston Churchill and President Roosevelt, on Old Bond Street. It’s designed so that you can sit between them to have your photo taken. Holofcener has also done some similar statues of other celebrities
* Brown’s on Maddox Street – This is a charming restaurant chain, who have a branch on Maddox Street. I’d presumed they were quite old (as they specialise in afternoon teas and traditional foods) but they actually opened in the early 1970’s
* Paul’s daughter – I’m referring to Stella McCartney here, who now runs a fashion company with a shop on Maddox Street
* “The square where a nightingale sang” – This refers to Berkley Square and the beautiful 1930’s song of this title. (Apparently, the point of the lyric is that nightingales don’t actually sing there, but the magic of two lovers meeting could make a miracle happen)
* Handel and Hendrix – The composer (Handel) and guitar god (Hendrix) both lived on Maddox Street and have commemorative plaques. Handel’s house is now a small museum
* Penhaligan’s perfume shop – I quite like to peer in this shop window on South Molton Street, as the products are old fashioned
* South Molton Street – Quite a nice shopping street, which emerges at Bond Street tube station. At Christmas, they often erect an interesting light sculpture (like coloured arcs across the walkway)
* Lush – A cosmetics company who have a shop here. They started in my home town of Poole, Dorset
* “Everything in his ridiculous head” – I’m trying to make fun of myself here, for these over complex lyrics which are so hard to follow. And my intense waffling